Beating oneself up

Mentally that is. I just realized that I have the tendency to beat myself one in my thoughts - over and over again.

Take for example a few weeks ago - just before Easter to be precise. I finally got the go ahead to be a member of a local cycling club. So the following step was to get my hands on my club clothing. Well, a couple of emails and a few weeks later it has still not happened. So thoughts started to form in my head: was I not assertive enough in stating my options? was I too assertive and people backed up? Am I not making my clear enough? It goes on and on in my head almost nonstop. Luckily I guess my pleading worked and I got the clothing on Sunday.

But same things happen on any event on any day. Was I training enough, was I training not enough? Am I trying hard enough? Did my boss understand my concerns? I don't know about other people, but I do have this capability to keep beating myself up constantly... sigh.

I once was blind and now I see

At the end of spring break, we were driving back from Sun Peaks. We stopped for lunch and I mentioned to my wife, "look, cherry blossoms". She said "it's been blooming for well over a week".

That same night a friend sent me a email saying how happy she was about the cherry blossoms. I replied back saying I only saw it today.

So the following workday I made the effort to count how many cherry trees I can find along the way. Turns out:
- there are less than 5 along South-west Marine between 41st and 16th.
- probably a couple more between 16th and North-west Marine.
- there are roughly 10 along North-west marine, close to where the houses are.
- probably around 5 along 4th from NW Marine to Alma.
- around 5 along Burrard between the Bridge and Hastings.

So far so good. Can't say I missed much.

But there are A LOT of cherry trees along Cornwall. So many that I don't know how I missed it. Lame excuses includes:

- there are a lot of cracks and potholes
- i am concentrating on my speed and heart rate.
- I like to look at cars than flowers.
- my neck hurts, can't look up.

Anyways I justed realized what I was missing. :-(