Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Beating oneself up

Mentally that is. I just realized that I have the tendency to beat myself one in my thoughts - over and over again.

Take for example a few weeks ago - just before Easter to be precise. I finally got the go ahead to be a member of a local cycling club. So the following step was to get my hands on my club clothing. Well, a couple of emails and a few weeks later it has still not happened. So thoughts started to form in my head: was I not assertive enough in stating my options? was I too assertive and people backed up? Am I not making my clear enough? It goes on and on in my head almost nonstop. Luckily I guess my pleading worked and I got the clothing on Sunday.

But same things happen on any event on any day. Was I training enough, was I training not enough? Am I trying hard enough? Did my boss understand my concerns? I don't know about other people, but I do have this capability to keep beating myself up constantly... sigh.


Anonymous said...

I do the same exact thing. I constantly question myself, which is what it seems is what you're doing, and I also beat myself up (calling myself stupid for not doing something, etc.). So, you're not the only one, as you probably knew deep down. ;)

The real question is, what does one do to stop?

Anonymous said...

One way to stop is through awareness and intent to change the behavior. You can substitute a reminder a reminder of "what you did right" everytime you start to engage in beating yourself up behavior.

Another thought, and this may be uncomfortable for some,is to think that Easter really represents a time of total forgiveness and renewal.If every day can be thought as a sort of Easter, we can awake daily without sin, guilt, and self-flagellation,in a state of perfect lovingness and self-acceptance.

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